A humorous look at sensitive men. How to balance between being a sensitive guy, and
For thousands of years, men have played a consistent, reliable role in society. Beginning with the cave man, we provided security, protection, and food for the clan. Skip forward a few thousand years, and men - now wearing fancy clothes - still provide the same basic things. Why is it then that women want men to change into something completely foreign and contrary to our genetic makeup, seemingly overnight?

For years, men have labored under the media propagated illusion that we're all nothing but a bunch of beer chugging, anniversary forgetting, non-color coordinating, overweight, sex-driven animals. I for one, am tired of the stereotype. I'm fairly confident that if a commercial were shown on prime-time depicting a woman as nothing more than a sit at home, barefoot, baby-making machine, women across the country would unite in protest.

Well I'm here now to dispel a few myths about a great number of men and hopefully shed some light on what it means to be the new generation of guy; because I'll tell you, it isn't always easy.

"He's a mama's boy." Little did the coiner of that phrase know how true it was. My mother mostly raised me since my father, when I was very young, spent a great deal of time traveling. So it was that I spent more time in the kitchen listening to my mother think aloud, than any conscientious father would have normally allowed in the 70's. Some of what tidbits I picked up on were such idle comments such as, "Women love surprises… and jewelry." And, "It's not a bad thing to show your feelings. Sometimes women find that attractive." Were these the random idlings of a bored housewife, or the strategically placed seeds of growth planted by a forward thinking mother-in-law? Looking back, I'd say it was the latter.

I joined the military straight out of high school and was lucky enough to secure my own room for the most part. Very quickly I realized how stark my surroundings were and I labored day and night to create a space for myself that was physically and emotionally comfortable for my few female guests and me. Don't think their comments of approval were wasted. I quietly filed this information back for future use, and it has helped shape who and what I am today.

What I am today though isn't always easy to convey. Even though women have been wishing for years that men would get with the sensitivity program, I'm always amazed at the look on ladies' faces when, after commenting on some of the nice furniture in our home, my wife tells them that I picked it out before we were married. The shock value is worth it.

Believe it or not, I enjoy watching both the Do It Yourself Channel™, and HGTV™. I'm sort of a "Jack-of-all-trades" around the house. I can paint, fix broken stuff, do light automotive work, and still find time to shop with my wife at the local Pottery Barn for fine furnishings. That said, I do sometimes stuff my hands in my pockets and round out my shoulders while shopping with my wife when another (alpha) male is around. It's still not "cool" for guys to be sensitive. And that is wherein the problem lies.

Until women and the media stop making jokes about men who are either not sensitive enough, or overly sensitive to the point of being feminine, closet sensitivists like myself will never be a major force in the male population. We'll never be able to look a fellow golf buddy in the eye and say, "Yeah, I picked out this outfit. Isn't it nice?" I'll never be able to tell someone in the office, "Hey man, great boots."

I've never missed an anniversary, or my wife's birthday. I've never bought her something to use in the kitchen as a personal gift. Actually, I asked for a Kitchenaid™ mixer for Christmas this year because I love to bake. But don't worry fellows, I've got a basement full of power tools that would make any Tool Man happy.

In the end, it's all about balance. A man has to know how to be both manly, and not so manly. The trick, is being able to flow in and out of the two without attracting too much attention. The onus is back on you ladies. You can help us, or you can hurt us. When you see or hear someone stereotyping us men as throwbacks to an earlier era, speak out. Tell the world that you're proud of your man. He may not be perfect, but he's evolving a lot faster than Darwin could have ever imagined.

About the Author

Chris Souther is a Technical / Freelance Writer & Trainer in Atlanta, GA. His freelance articles cover a wide variety of topics. See his most current E-book on Job Hunting at: Http://Learn.To/GetaJobOnline